What is a Titus 2 woman, anyway?
You know the Proverbs 31 woman. That idea of perfect we all strive to attain. How many times have you tried to measure up?
The book of Titus was written by the apostle Paul to Titus. The purpose of the book was to encourage a young pastor in the Lord because those around him were ungodly and trying to oppose him. The letter doesn’t delve into doctrine or establishing a solid theological foundation, rather outlines for Christian living. He instructs what the leaders need to know, and should be teaching to new converts.
What I want to focus on, however, is not the whole book. Though it’s good – read it. But rather, I’d like to focus on the second chapter.
The second chapter really hones in on the duties of everyone in the church. Older men, older women, young men, young women, and those serving.
Because this book is geared toward women, and specifically the married, childbearing years, I’d like to focus on just a couple verses.
Do you feel like there are times when you aren’t sure what’s expected of you as a Christian wife and mother? How about wishing we had some guidelines?
In verse 3, aged women are referenced. This commonly referred to women beyond child rearing age, probably around 60 or so. So this would be those ladies in the church with white hair. Their faces marked with age, and the lines of laughter from those happy, joyous moments. Also, the lines that mark times of deep sadness, of worry, and of fervent prayer.
Those dear women are our manual.
Note how these women are to be: holy, truthful, sober.
And their responsibility: to teach. Teach the younger women to love their husbands, and love their children, “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (v. 5, ESV).
The chapter goes on to detail what young men need to learn, what slaves should learn, and then that we need to stay away from worldliness and cling to the “blessed hope” of Jesus coming back one day.
When is the last time a little, white haired, non-childbearing lady in your church offered sound advice or doctrine?
It’s probably been awhile.
We don’t want to hear about those kinds of things anymore, especially from someone who hasn’t had a toddler in 40 years. Don’t tell me how to love my husband. Don’t tell me how to raise my kids.
In America, it’s become the norm to jump to social media for advice. And, when said advice isn’t what we want to hear, we jump back on there to make sure everyone knows what “so and so” said and how ridiculous it was.
A woman was broke down in the median of a four lane highway, and my husband drove right past. I was furious! I said, “Why didn’t you stop?! What if that were me stranded?” His response shocked me. He said (paraphrased, as this was years ago) that women don’t want help from a man anymore. They think they can do it all for themselves, so he doesn’t try. And this, y’all, from a man raised in the South, okay?
I think those little old ladies stopped trying to teach us because we stopped trying to listen. So, listen up, young ladies: it’s time to start listening again.
When someone approaches you and offers advice, she’s probably trying to be helpful. It might not be the best advice you’ve ever received. You might not want to make little Johnny go get a switch from the backyard, or not give him anything else to eat because he didn’t like what you cooked. But they are genuinely trying to help you. They did the best they could, the best they knew how.
And when that woman approaches you and wants to pray for you, let her. And when she gently suggests that your words be a little less harsh to husband, take heed. These women haven’t been married 50+ years because of the feminist movement. I’d also be willing to bet they didn’t always agree with 100% of what their husbands said, and they probably figured out ways to get coerce him when he’s wrong. (Don’t tell Husband I said that).
Of course, you don’t need to take secular advice from someone who mocks God’s word. I’m not saying to listen to anyone with a microphone, either. What I am saying is this: we are to live our lives as close to Jesus as we possibly can. That means serving others. It means humility. Our lives cannot look like those of the world.
Our marriages shouldn’t be boastful of women speaking down to their husbands. Or husbands who don’t love their wives. We need to follow the biblical standard, and it might be hard just because it’s not what everyone else is doing. But remember, we aren’t looking for an earthly reward. We are looking for that hope of Jesus coming back. Of one day, hearing those glorious words “well done”.
If that means I need to submit to my husband then I will. If it means being home with children who drive me insane I will.
Also know this: I am speaking of Christian marriage. Being married to an unbeliever is a little different, and he needs prayer so that he can be saved and be the man of God he needs to be for your home. I’m also not speaking of abusive relationships or those where adultery is taking place. This is, by no means, counseling. So if you ever feel unsafe or unsure of your marriage please seek CHRISTIAN counseling. Yes, that matters.
To finish the story of the woman stranded, we ended up pulling over and helping her push her car into a nearby parking lot. The woman was in tears. She told us she had been there a while, no one willing to stop her, and her boyfriend was at least 30 minutes away. After making sure she was okay, we left. Husband agreed that men should help women, he just wished women didn’t take it as a personal insult when someone offered help.
I guess we are so accustomed to doing it ourselves we don’t think we need help.
No, I’m not that little old lady who has weathered the storms of life. My children are small, and my marriage is still pretty new. So I cannot impart wisdom through life’s experiences.
Here’s what I can say: I’m stepping into a role God has called me to. And while it might not be what I had planned, or even what I want to do, I know He called me to minister to others. And if He called me, He will equip me (Hebrews 13:21). I’m praying about this as I write because I don’t want this to be about me. I want God to use me to help someone. I also pray He equips you to do what He called you to do as well.
Check out this post on what kind of wife you are – and what kind of wife you should be. (It’s not that bad!)