Many, many times the subject of wives submitting to their husbands comes up. Whether in church, social media, or by husbands who like the idea. But we have to keep in mind that “submitting to your husband” is not a bad thing. Also, to remember that this means whether our husbands are saved or not.
Titus 2 is pretty specific about Christian living and gives pretty clear instructions on what should be taught.
The older women are supposed to pass along their wisdom to the younger. This instruction is to be biblical and truthful. So what are some biblical and truthful things we need teaching?
Love your husband. “Love” in this context is the Greek word phileo and places emphasis on affection. We, as Christian wives, are to love our husbands. It’s not based on the husband’s worthiness, or how spiritual he is.
Wives are to love their husbands, submit to their husbands, respect their husbands. Yes, husbands have specific roles, as well. They are to love, cherish, protect, provide for their wives. But we aren’t getting into that here. This is for the wife struggling to figure out her role.
When we submit to our husband, we submit to God’s will. A lot of controversy surrounds this rule in our society. Feminism has made it seem foolish and demeaning to submit to anyone, let alone a man. But, ladies, here’s what we have to remember: we aren’t here to serve what pleases man. Our focus is not what this world thinks right. Our lives are about Jesus Christ and our service to Him. Him alone. We submit to our husbands, our husbands submit to Christ. Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father God.
So what if my husband doesn’t submit to Jesus?
Talk to Jesus about your husband. Pray and ask God to convict him, to save him. To draw him into a relationship with his Creator. In the meantime, you have to show him Jesus. You have to be the one making intercession for him, and showing him what a life of Christ looks like.
My Mom got saved before my Dad. She’d go to church and he’d make fun of her. She’d come home with tear stained cheeks and he’d mock her. So she prayed. She prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more. Her prayers got so specific, she asked God to not let him sleep until he came to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And you know what? It didn’t take too many restless nights before he realized he needed God.
Jesus knows our hearts, and God wants to give us our desires (Psalm 37:4) when we have our heart’s in the right place.
A saved husband is something all Christian wives should want. So, if your hubby needs some Jesus, PRAY for that man. Be an example. Show him Jesus.
Humility is a good way to show someone you aren’t like the rest of the world. You know men talk when they’re amongst each other in the workplace. So when the unsaved husband hears tales of men whose wives won’t cook, clean, take care of the children, etc., it’ll make him think of how much he appreciates his wife and what she does. Then, he will start to wonder why she’s different. And I can tell you the answer has nothing to do with Home Economics. It has everything to do with following Jesus.
But, you ask, my husband is saved, he’s just not the spiritual leader I need him to be. What do I do? You pray. Yes, you pray for that man.
Chances are, someone prayed for you. Your husband needs your prayers just like you needed someone else’s. The Christian home is designed for the man to lead, the woman to be his help. Tough is the role of the woman being the head and the help. Weariness sets in quickly. Just remember this is not according to God’s plan, and your effectual fervent prayers (James 5:16) can get your husband where he needs to be.
I can tell you from personal experience a big part of a man’s problem is his pride.
He cannot accept help as readily as a woman, and he is not as in tune with his emotions as a woman. So readily submitting to God does not come easy.
In my own marriage, I pray for God to break my husband’s pride. And let me tell you this: if that’s a prayer you pray, then be ready to walk through a hard place with him. For my husband, crushing pride came in the form of an ankle surgery that left him non-weight bearing for 5 months, two years in a row. This meant less income. And depending on others. And it. Was. Hard.
So know, that sometimes, the lessons God uses to teach your husband, he might need you to walk in as well. And there will come a time when he breaks, so be prepared. It’s not pretty.
And while my husband isn’t the strongest spiritually, I can definitely see growth. I can see him learning to lean and depend on God a little more.
I can also see the enemy working harder.
If your husband is saved and is where he needs to be spiritually, and leading your home well, then guess what? He needs prayer. Just because he’s where he needs to now does not mean he can’t fall, or the enemy isn’t after him.
As his wife, you should help him, and the best way to do so is to pray. Ask God to protect him from the enemy’s attacks. For strength, guidance, wisdom.
Ladies, if you haven’t guessed it yet, the bottom line is this: you have to love your husband. Submit to him (according to the Bible) and PRAY for him. You know him better than anyone, and he can do more with your prayers than you know.
Following God’s plan doesn’t mean we have to be out front. If you’re married, it could mean you’re the woman behind the man. Praying for him. Asking protection for him. And, in the meantime, he’s physically protecting you. Providing for you. Cherishing you.
Wives, our jobs aren’t always glorious. Sometimes his laundry might get done without the thought of a thank you. He might come home late, get easily angered, and not want to talk like you NEED to (because toddler conversations get old) but know you are serving God when you’re obedient to His word.
At the end of the day, that’s what’s important.
To go back to the beginning of Titus 2, check out this post on how it applies today.