Desired Qualities of the Young Wife
“to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (Titus 2:5, NASB)
To be sensible and pure. KJV says, “discreet, chaste”. Discreet in Greek means to be self-controlled, wise and prudent in nature. Chaste is innocent and pure.
“Keepers” is used in the KJV as opposed to “workers” in NASB, but in the original Greek it means staying at home, or domestic.
I think we have a pretty good handle on the “being subject to their own husbands” part. And the part that says “so that the word of God will not be dishonored” is pretty plain, too.
So, basically, of the young woman, she is to be self-controlled, wise, prudent, staying at home, and subject to her husband. All this so that God’s word is honored.
Self-control is easy for me. Until a Dr. Pepper shows up, then it’s gone. Or hot french fries. Or chocolate cake… okay. So my self-control needs work in the “food” department. But I think this goes a little deeper than this. This is about controlling those fleshly urges, temptations, desires. Whatever it might be that pulls us away from our husbands, and more importantly away from Jesus.
There’s a wildly popular trilogy of books that many women read. I’ve often heard them referred to as “mommy porn” (Is that even a thing?). As wives, we worry about what our husbands watch, or the women they see. And with digital devices having internet connections so readily available, we worry about their self-control when it comes to graphic images. But what about these books? Should women subject themselves to things like romance novels? And if a man looking at a photo can cause problems, what can a novel with graphic descriptions do?
Not only are we to have self-control, but we are to be pure. Innocent. Once again, this means stepping away from what our society considers “normal”. Are you seeing a trend here? Following Christ means deviating from what this world thinks is okay.
The next part of the verse talks about staying home. Keeping the home? Working at home?
I wanted to avoid this part, but seeing as how it’s Bible, I can’t.
Keepers at home. Workers at home. Staying home, domestic. Looks like no matter how you slice it, sisters, it means women being home.
I can tell you what I’ve learned from my own life. I worked, full time. We had baby #1, and I still worked. Baby #2, and I still worked. Shortly after baby 2 I no longer worked. And it made a huge difference in my life.
Working outside the home still meant the home needed attending to. So not only was I working but having to keep the house clean. And laundry done. And food, well, that was often from a drive thru. Working outside the home created a lot of stress for me, because not only do I struggle with being a “good enough” wife and mother, but I had the added time crunch dilemma. Plus the stress of the job added to the stress of being a mom/wife. So I totally see how staying home is a benefit.
However, now that I stay home, my children pretty much drive me insane all day. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so even things like a trip to the park are few and far between due to the cost of fuel. I still feel like I can never get it all done. And also feel like I need to do something to contribute to the family finances. What I can say, though, is my stress levels are much lower. And I do feel much more adequate. Not perfect, but like I’m more in my role.
So what I’ll say about being a home keeper is this: God created us to be in certain roles, male and female. It’s why a husband whose wife makes more money usually feels emasculated, and why a wife whose husband is a stay at home dad feels guilty.
Money. That’s the problem, right? It all boils down to this: two incomes aren’t even enough in this day and age. I know, trust me.
Technology has its flaws, but also positives. For example, today is easier than ever to work from home. Not only can you find a job remotely, you can start a business selling goods, blogging, multi-level marketing, etc. So if you’re feeling that little tug that says it’s time to stay home, look into your options. Pray about it. God’s will should always come first in our lives, no matter what the circumstances seem like.
The enemy wants to destroy the family. Why? Because it’s God’s design. And one way to do that is to get the parents and children apart. When the children are in the care of another or a facility, they are not learning the morals their parents would normally teach. Husbands and wives spend less time together, less time in their respective roles.
I do not want to go too deep in this conversation, but I will say I can see the benefit to the mothers staying home, and keeping the home. I can also see how the woman being away from home can damage the family.
So, again, if you’re working outside the home then pray about it. Ask God to show you how to fulfill His purpose for your life. Ask Him to make a way in the situation that seems impossible to you. You and your husband pray about the situation. Brainstorm ideas for how you could stay home. Maybe cut back a few bills, eat out a little less. I obviously do not know your situation, I only know my goal in all this is to help wives and mothers find their calling. And I also know it starts at home.
The next part of the verse says to be subject to your own husbands.
Feminism was rampant then just as it is now. There is, after all, that verse in scripture that says there’s nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). We, as wives, are to submit to our husbands. Even if you’re more mature spiritually, more educated, whatever the case may be. Christians are all equal in God’s eyes, so this is speaking to the role of the wife in relation to her own husband. It does not mean women submit to all men, you follow the lead of your husband. Your own husband.
When we claim to be Christians but do not follow God’s word, we dishonor it. Perhaps this is why He calls us to be different. So that people can plainly tell those who serve God, and those who do not. But the point in this statement was to live by the word if you claim to be a Christian.
Again, we go back to being and doing differently than what the world does. And while it might seem difficult now, it pays off in the end. To follow Jesus is the most amazing thing anyone can do, and we can never turn our backs on that.
For the overview of Titus 2 check out this post.